Positive thoughts...

Yesterday when I got home from work, I noticed tiny bright red spotting. Oy. That. Is. Not. Good. Or, I should just say, that's not what I wanted to see. Spotting during the first trimester is semi-common, and sometimes it's nothing and, well sometimes, it's not good.

That being said. Deep down, I feel like everything is ok. How the hell do I know that? I don't know. This is obviously my first pregnancy, so I don't really know what I'm doing. I haven't been there before, and, since my mom doesn't know, I can't go to her.

So I called the good ol' Kaiser advice line. I spoke with a woman that wasn't very understanding or nice until the end, but I understand. I'm that stupid frantic woman that has a million questions and doesn't know how to describe her symptoms properly:

Nurse: "Have you had any cramping"

"Well, um, some light cramping, but less than what happens during a period. Oh, and I wasn't sure if it was that or gas, because, I've been gassy. So, maybe?"

"OK, so was it on one side or both?"

"Well, um, it started on one side, then would progress to the other side, and, well, I don't really know, I just thought it was normal and tried to ignore it. You know, the cramps were so light I didn't think anything was wrong"

"So have you had cramps or not? Yes or No?"

"Ugh, I don't know. I guess, yes?"

The poor woman. I feel sorry for my husband and all those I come into contact with, as, I'm either indecisive, day dreaming or mean. The overly optimistic, super excitable and happy woman I once was is slowly fading away.

Positive, positive, positive! I'm going to stay positive. Today, I've got an appointment with my NP, and I'm sure she'll check everything out. I might even get an ultrasound, which would be great since I'm still in doubt I've got a little monkey growing inside me. Plus, it may help by reducing the confusion of my cycle and the dreaded 'pregnancy wheel' EDD (estimated delivery date).

Oh, and I forgot to mention my favorite part of the conversation with the Nurse. She went to speak with the Doctor, and he said it sounded like 'implantation bleeding'. Oy Vey! For those that are unaware: implantation bleeding isn't totally common and happens when the fertilized embryo (or is it a zygote at this stage? I don't remember) into the uterine wall. That happens between 7-10 days after ovulation. I know I ovulated on the 1st of October, and here it is the 24th of October that he's telling me this. Stupid pregnancy wheel (that's why he made that assumption).

Anyway, enough rambling for one day... too many details in this silly little post, anyway.

5 weeks 3 days (PW 4 weeks 3 days)