OK. So I went into the appointment yesterday a little freaked out, not too bad. Then, I registered and asked where to go (how would I know?). The woman that registered me happened to remember me from last week, she was the one that announced our pregnancy to the entire first floor building of Kaiser. Anyway, she told me that for this, along with all other prenatal appointments, I would need to "collect a specimine" for the appointment. She told me where to put my paperwork, and go get the specimine.
So, I throw my paperwork in the little box, and go to the bathroom. Why, oh why did they not put a little purse shelf in these bathrooms? I don't put my purses on the ground, let alone on the floor of a public bathroom! And, the handles aren't long enough to go around my neck. Anyway, I tried to "collect my sample" and I suddenly got very, very nervous. I could feel my heart rate go up as I thought: "Holy crap, what am I doing here, why did I even think to call? I'm pregnant!" I still haven't really got that into my head. So, I had, um, stage fright. I don't even think I pee'd half an ounce. Weird.
So I go and sit in the waiting room, look around. Shit. No one else is pregnant, no one else is holding a little brown baggie with Kaiser in the front. I'm still freaking out and worried. My husband is on his way, but not there yet and as I'm calling him the nurse peeks her head out and calls me back. I'm shaking.
Thoughts are rushing through my head as she sat me down and asked how far along I am (here we go again.. no need to describe). My head is swirling with thoughts that maybe I'm not pregnant, maybe I am and something's wrong. Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks: I'm freaking out because I don't have anyone to ask "Is this normal"
It makes so much sense! I would normally call and freak out to my mom, she would tell me everything's ok, and we'd be able to talk it out. The nurse wasn't as friendly as I would have liked her to be. She mentioned that she has kids and I thought, "well of course you know what I'm going through, but I don't, and I don't have anyone to talk to!" She took my blood pressure, weight (happily gaining nice and slow) and took me into exam room and left me sitting there while she went to hunt for my husband. It was at this point that the epiphiany I had almost made me cry. I'm suddenly having pregnancy emotions. I'm ok, I'm ok.
My husband comes through the door, and I couldn't be happier. He's such a great support system. I asked him how he was, and he said he'd be much better, except the room is wallpapered in pictures of the female anatomy and pregnant women with their tummys pulled back to see their innerds. He's been so sheltered all his life.
So, my nurse practitioner came through the door. She sized me up right away. We discussed the stupid pregancy wheel, she automatically changed my dates in the computer (wow, she's great!) She told me that with my 'type A' personality (who? ME?!?!?) she understands what I'm going through, explained some symptoms and said "Well, we might as well do an ultrasound" Music to my ears.
She brought the machine in, my poor husband has his initiation to the stirrups (they had knitted booties on them, my NP knits and her favorite color is purple. Things I'm writing down as a reminder to myself.) He was a little iffy on the stirrups, but the nice drape cloth thing helped. Anyway up went the little stick and she found the bean right away. Right where it needed to be. I can't describe what it feels like to look at what's growing inside. The NP then turned the monitor to my husband, and let me tell you, there's nothing more awesome than watching your husband look at something growing inside of you. His face lit up like I've never seen it do before.
We've got it's first picture. And, the best part is that she asked if we wanted to come back in a few weeks to see what looks more like a baby and less like a bean. OMG. I love her. She's making additional appointments just so we can look inside! And, we scheduled it right before we tell our parents so we'll have baby's second picture to show the grandparents, aunt and uncles.
So, after the mini freak out, all is good. I love my NP, she's going to be great.