Six Month Letter

Dear Clara,

And with that, you're officially 6 months old. I can't believe I'm writing that. It feels as though you've been a part of our family and our lives forever. It's hard to remember what it was like with 'just' 3 of us. I do remember that it was easier, A LOT easier, but the amount of love that you've added to our family, our little unit is immeasurable.

You never fail to make us smile. Your cries are infrequent, but when you do, you jet out your lower lip and make us all pout with you. It's adorable.
You're such a happy baby. Easy going. You only really fuss when something is seriously wrong. You're a pleasure to be around, and you're adaptable to each person as you meet them.
We baptized you this month, Clara. You did so well, no tears, no naps, but a lot of love.
Aunt Laura had deemed herself your Fairy Godmother and Uncle Andy is your Godfather. We know they'll watch out for you. We know Uncle Andy will be vital to ensuring Dad's 'No Dating Until You're 30' policy stays intact. He'll arrest anyone that asks you out on a date. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I love your little personality. You love to smile, to laugh, to make us laugh. Your favorite activity is to watch your sister. I know sooner rather than later, you'll be following her around. But for now, you watch.
With your big brown eyes. I wanted you to have brown eyes. It looks like they're headed in that direction. They make me smile almost as much as your hair.
:) You love to jump, jump, jump in your jumpy. You could play in that thing all day if we'd let you! You're so very strong, my dear. Daddy is already calling you his little soccer player.
There's that hair! I fully expected it to fall out, but it's held on. Often times, I think it looks like a little toupee. I can only imagine how it will look when it's long and curly!
Sigh, half a year old. What will I ever do with you? How can I keep you small, loving, non-mobile and non-verbal? Just like with your sister, I cherish these moments, because I know they'll soon be gone. I've been packing up your newborn and 3 month clothes slowly as it's the last time I'll ever pack up clothes that tiny. The last time I'll wash them. I'll continue to cheer your developmental milestones, but I'll also mourn the months as they go by. I'll do my best to document, for you, for me but I'm honestly struggling to keep up. You're growing so very fast!
I love you, Peanut. You'll always be my peanut. Thank you for being you.

Love,

Ma-Ma

Five Month Letter

Dear Clara,

Peanut, you're growing by leaps and bounds. Suddenly, you've decided staying petite is for the birds, and you're growing, growing, growing! We recently had your check up and you were just shy of 14 pounds. You're still on the small side, but catching up to the average very quickly.

You, my dear, are quite the chatterbox. You like to 'yell' at your sister in particular, to get her attention and to try to get her to talk to you. You absolutely adore her and that makes me so very happy. You're currently working on bringing in your bottom two teeth and you again have shown us that you are very different from your sister in that you'll fuss a bit, but if we give you something to chew on (even if only our wrist), you're a happy camper.
We recently brought your jumper home and you are a VERY happy girl. You love to jump and jump and jump the day away. Your legs are getting strong. Dr. Covin (your pediatrician) had you standing (supported) and was trying to encourage you to take a step. I scolded him and told him we're not ready for a mobile baby! You have, however, figured out how to maneuver around on your belly... you kind of scoot and kick and pull and suddenly you're 180 degrees from where we put you down and 2 feet away from the original location. I refuse to believe you're going to be crawling in a few short months. That doesn't stop you from trying.
You don't fuss often, but when you do, it's mighty cute. I still haven't gotten 'the' lip on film, but I had to snap this one before rescuing you because you are just too darn cute.
Pop Pop (Daddy's Grandpa) came out to visit along with your Great Aunt Reenie and Great Uncle Harold. They were so very excited to meet you! Aunt Reenie said you look a lot like her daughter (Daddy's cousin), Jeanine. Lots of curly hair and the O family skin tone. I'm so happy you had the opportunity to meet Pop Pop as I don't know that he'll be able to visit California again.
Clara, you're fun. You make coming home my favorite part of the day, just to see your big smile and watch you jump, jump, jump! But what I love even more than that is watching you make your sister giggle, who in turn makes you giggle and then the giggle fits spread to your Daddy & I, too. Life is good.
I love you so much. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being our happy easy baby. Thank you for only being 5 months old today. Now, you can stop growing, ok? Wait. I take that back. I am looking forward to seeing your personality continue to emerge, I know I've met you and I already know you, but I look forward to one day have the conversations I'm having with your older sister, with you. Just don't grow too fast, ok?

Love,

Mama

Four Month Letter

Dear Clara,

And suddenly, you're 4 months old. You've absolutely moved beyond the infant/sleepy/fussy/QUIET phase. In previous letters, I mentioned you being the 'quiet observer'. Peanut, that's no longer the case. You have officially discovered your voice, my dear and you use it often! You sound like a baby dinosaur with your screeches. It's adorable and you can have your Dad and I laughing hysterically within minutes.

You are a happy baby. As long as you're fed, and changed, you're quite content. I had to spend a night in the hospital this month and it absolutely broke my heart. I was away from you for more hours than I care to count. I had to give you formula because I didn't have enough milk stored and I was on medications that prevented me from feeding you. The formula made you smell different. You were a trooper and good for Daddy and Grandma while I was away. You were good to me and allowed me to rest to get better. I am better now, but I hope to never forget the torment of being apart, even if only a short period of time.
You adore your sister. She loves you, too, and I really hope you and she are able to have the relationship that continues like in the photo below for the rest of your lives. If not, I've taken the liberty of having that photo mounted on canvas so I can forever remember your relationship together at this age. You adore her, she can't get enough of you and we have to remind her to be gentle. You've NEVER complained or whined when she talks to you, sticks her fingers in your mouth (or eye, or nose, or grabs your hand, or hugs you firmly).
I love your hair. Your super curly wild and crazy hair. And your lips. Grandma thinks you got them from her, but I really think they're Daddy's lips. I just can't get enough. When you get upset, you jet your lip out and it's SO very sad. We can't help but scoop you up and rescue you as we chuckle at your perfect pouty lip.
You're beautiful, a joy to be around. You make life so much fun.
We had Easter at our house this year, you enjoyed soaking up all the attention in the bunny hat that Aunt Heidi and Uncle Mike got for you :)
We had a tea party/dress up party to watch the Royal Wedding. We had a great time and although I know you won't remember it, hopefully you'll be able to look back on these pictures as your first dress up party.
Clara, I'm at a difficult crossroad... I LOVE seeing you grow up, seeing your personality emerge, your voice babble. I love watching you work on rolling (you can do it, but you have to WANT to do it, and there's lots of talking involved in the process) I love seeing you get your baby fat (finally!) I love interacting with you. At the same time, I morn the sleepy snuggly infant you once were. I pout as I pack up your newborn clothes, and my maternity clothes. I know that you'll never be THIS small again. Ever. So I try to take everything one day at a time. Soak up your infant smell, your infant squeaks & snores. I know one day, before I'm ready, you'll be a toddler but for now, I'm enjoying you as a 4 month old.

I love you, Peanut.

-Mama

Three Month Letter

Dear Clara Jane,

Today you are 3 months old. Where the time has gone is beyond me. You, my dear, have absolutely filled our lives with so much joy and love, we hardly know what to do with ourselves. Your Daddy, Jenna, Irma and I will all bend over backwards and do whatever needs to be done to see your smile. And those dimples slay us. Often times, we just come out looking silly as you stare at us.

I went back to work this month. Before I did, we went to as many Mommy & Me groups as possible and I ate plenty of cupcakes for both of us. I can't help it, they're delicious and right across the street from Day One.
We had the opportunity to go up to Nanny & Poppie's house for a visit. You did absolutely wonderfully. I think you enjoyed the dry mountain air. Having Nanny there to spoil you helps tremendously as well.
Right before heading back to work, I wanted to get photos of you and Jenna among the beautiful daffodils in Livermore. I had great visions of you and her with smiles surrounded by flowers. You had other ideas:
Once I told Jenna it wasn't appropriate to try to hush you, you actually quieted down a bit.
Until you realized I had you in a basket, you had no pacifier and you weren't physically touching me.... We fixed all those problems:
You're so inquisitive. You don't hesitate to evaluate everything around you, size it up, and then decide whether you're going to smile or cry.... or just continue to stare with those ever active eyebrows.
You've been terrific at Irma's. For the first few weeks, she threatened to keep you. She said you were just the perfect baby, smiling all day long, only whimpering when you were hungry or needed to sleep. She adores you and we couldn't be happier to have you with your sister during the day. I love the faces that you give me. It makes me ache to come home and see what 'face' I'll be getting when I see you.
And then, when you're sleeping, I just want to smooch your sleepy baby lips. It's moments like this that I just want to hold on to. I know it's all fleeting and that makes me sad, however, the thought of you walking and talking and playing with Jenna makes me wish time moved faster. It's a strange dichotomy.
Your chubby baby toes... again, it's all fleeting. Soon you'll have stinky toddler feet. And painted toes. And as much as I try to deny the fact that now I'll have *two* teenage daughters, one day you'll be wearing heels and makeup and driving away.... It's those thoughts that make me grab my camera as much as possible and capture you now. New, fresh and squishy.

Your sister loves you so very much. Sometimes a little too much. She wants to hug and kiss and squeeze you. She tries to help you hold your rattle and gets excited when you look at her and smile at her. She's just as smitten as the rest of us.
You may be small (petite, really), but you've opened our lives to a love I didn't think was possible. You continue to enrich each of our lives with a sense of wonder. Thank you, CJ.

Love,

Mama

Two Month Letter

Dear Clara,

Happy two month birthday! As expected, the time continues to fly by and I can't believe you're already 1/6th of a year old. At the beginning of the month, Grandma said every picture of you is either yawning or sleeping. I reminded her that that's just what you do at this age. Well, that, and be cute. You're an old pro at that.

Then, you started smiling. You're quite reserved with your smiles, you primarily share them with Daddy, but every now and then I get to peek at one as well. You have shallow dimples, and I'll do just about anything to get a glimpse at them. I'm not sure where you got them from, but I'm in love with them already. Adorable.

You've rolled over a few times, but the kind of rolling over that is completely and totally unintentional. You've come close to rolling off the couch (and gave your Daddy a near heart attack in the process) and you like to turn your head from side to side as I hold you. Your head control is good for short periods of time and then you flop. I think you look like a ventriloquist's puppet. Daddy will move your lower lip so it's as though you're singing and talking...
You've turned out to be a relatively good sleeper thus far. Yes, I'm still getting up in the middle of the night, but when you decide you want to sleep, you do just that. I know it's short lived and now that I've actually written the above words, I'm sure you'll change your sleeping habits drastically, but I want to write it down to remember you CAN sleep :)

Your fussy period tends to start either at dinner time, or, more commonly just as I'm finishing up Jenna's bedtime story. You are not happy, tend to be over tired and just cry. It breaks my heart knowing I really can't do anything to make it better, but try, try, try to soothe you. Bouncing on the exercise ball, shh'ing and playing the 'hairdryer' track on the computer works at times, but not always. I continue to remind myself that this is a phase, a short lived phase and I soak up all the other times of the day. However 8pm - 10pm seem to be the slowest 2 hours of the day...
We're starting to get a glimpse into your personality. I still think you'll be the serious one, but in the last few days, you've started to use your voice. You like to talk to the frog that hangs from your bouncy seat, you chatter and laugh at him and it makes my heart smile. Then, when I peek over to see your face, you look at me as though I'm intruding on your conversation. Sorry, Peanut, I'll make sure to give you some alone time with the frog.
The last month has been filled with play dates, lunches, Mommy & Me classes and friends. I also took you to a two day planning conference for work and you did quite well. I can assure you that's the last time you'll be taken to a work meeting. Mommy has become addicted to Kara's Cupcakes and we visit them as often as is possible (dangerous... and I wonder why the pregnancy weight isn't falling off).
You're a blast. I'm enjoying each moment I have with you before going back to work. You've already gained quite a bit of weight as you're likely at approximately 10 pounds (you can blame the Kara's cupcakes, too). Getting bigger every day. Newborn clothes are a thing of the past. You're smiling, laughing (which kind of sounds like you're choking... either way it gets our attention) and taking the rather forceful hugs, kisses and hand holding of your older sister amazingly well.
Thank you so much for choosing us as your family. Thank you for completing our family. We can't wait to love and embarrass you (as only family can do) simultaneously.

Love,

Mommy

One Month Letter

Dear Clara,

You've been in this world for a month now. I know time flies by, and I knew that when I was pregnant, and I planned, and hoped that I could somehow, some way slow time down and appreciate every minute I had with you while you're tiny. I have done my best to soak in every minute, every squeak, every grunt (and oh are you ever a grunter!) the bat of every eyelash and even the cries.

You arrived early. I wasn't ready for you to come out yet. I was still enjoying rubbing your back while you were in my belly. I enjoyed watching you kick vigorously and I especially enjoyed watching you try to escape through my belly button on New Years Eve. I hope to never forget that night. I think you were celebrating being a 2011 baby and escaping the ability to be claimed on 2010 taxes (speaking of, we could have used that deduction, apparently).

Your first two to three weeks, you were so sleepy. Quiet. Yes, when you cry, it's LOUD, but you were quite content. Happy. It seems as though you've started to wake up in the last week and a half or so. And by wake up I mean you've been getting fussy. And by fussy I mean that the minute we turn off the light in Jenna's room and say good night to her, you scream bloody murder. Because you apparently like to keep us up on our toes. And up at night, too. We know that's par for the course, and although you're giving us a run for our money, I really don't think it's as bad as it was with your sister.

I should warn you. As the second child, my only experience in parenting was your sister. I don't have any other reference point. So although I'll try not to compare and contrast, I know it's bound to happen and I apologize for that. I'll try not to make it a competition (although if it was, Jenna would be kicking your butt in the colic category, which I absolutely appreciate right now!) So I'm sorry about all the comparisons well in advance. Tell your therapist I said so in about 20 years, ok?
I think you're going to be quiet and reserved. Not necessarily shy, but your facial expressions say so much about your personality already. You make some awesome faces. Daddy and I can't help but laugh when you're stretching and you make the turtle face. It's so cute. Your forehead furrows when you're stretching, when you're tired and you're able to make a fierce 'raisin face' something Daddy has yet to master.
Your hair. You have so much hair. And it's all at least an inch long. I haven't tried to do pigtails just yet, but don't be surprised if I try in the near future before it thins out.
You absolutely complete our family. It's like we were waiting for you and now our family is whole. You warm each of our hearts and it's already difficult to remember what life was like before you made your appearance.
Your sister adores you. She's quick to come up and give you hugs and kisses, and asks to hold you all the time. You tolerate her excitement pretty well. I hope one day you'll grow to be very close with one another, as I'd imagine only sisters can be.
You're growing like a weed. As I mentioned earlier, you're up over two pounds, out of all of your newborn sleepers already. I keep grasping to slow time down, but it just doesn't happen. I know I can't keep you small, and although it's tempting, I really am excited to get to know YOU, your personality.
When I was pregnant, I had no clue what you would look like. People asked me all the time I and I replied 'I guess she'll just look like Jenna'. When you arrived, I was surprised at how very wrong I was. You started off looking like your cousin, Annika and now you've developed your own little 'look'. I can't tell who you look like though I see glimpses of my Grandma in your facial expressions. Your head is small and your features are small as well, but well developed. You look more like a little person than a baby. I'm sure I'll eat those words in a year or two (or ten!) but you look mature for the ripe old age of 1 month.

Thank you, Clara for choosing us as your family. For letting us love and embrace you and torture you as your parents (and sibling!) for the rest of your life. I'll do my very best for you, always.

Love,

Mommy

12 month letter

Dear Jenna,

Holy cow. We've made it. Well, we've made it to a year, that is. A year that has so changed me I hardly remember who I was before you. I remember thinking, dreaming, wondering who you would be. What you would look like, how your personality would emerge. I thought back on whether I was up to the task of being a Mother, YOUR Mother. Thinking back on that time, I can't believe how naive I was. How I thought I could plan it all out. I thought I was prepared.

Little did I know what I would get. I had no clue I would have a teeny, tiny ball of energy. A baby so full of life she couldn't handle this outside world without screaming often, and LOUDLY. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Because if it were any different, I wouldn't have you. You wouldn't have me.
This year has so changed me. I look back on those early days, and at the time, I kept trying to wish them away. The endless nights I would beg and plead and stare at you and ask you just to let me sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. You never listened. But you made me stronger. I'm so proud of you. You continue to blossom before our very eyes, and I know this is only the beginning. With this next year you'll learn so much, become more than we could have ever imagined. Talking, walking, temper tantruming and loving.... I'm so looking forward to it all (well...... no, just like I don't want to look back on those early difficult days with distain, I don't want to wish away any of this time because it's fleeting.... I now know and understand that more than ever before).
As for this month... you've changed. You've changed in ways I didn't see coming at all. You've learned to 'cheesy' smile. I'm shocked I don't have a picture of it. I told your Dad that I think your smile changed... at first he didn't see it, then I pointed it out. You smile really, really big, show off all your teeth (currently working on 9&10, maybe more, we can't get in there right now!) and your gums and wrinkle your nose. That's by far, my favorite part. If I were to put words to it, the only thing I can come up with is "CHEEEEEESSSEEE!!!" I love it. Melts my heart.
Speaking of melting my heart, you've also learned to hug this month. At the end of the day when I go to pick you up from Irma's, you wrap your right arm around my neck, put your head on my shoulder and give me a big squeeze. It's the best 10 seconds of my day, every day. You also have started hugging others, but that leads me to...
Separation anxiety. You've started to shy away from 'strangers' or those you haven't seen in awhile. Based on your personality, I never thought this day would come. You always would go to willing arms to hold you, which I very much appreciated. That being said, it's nice to know that you favor Mama & Daddy. Especially since we're currently weaning, the special hugs and lovin does show me that you can still be lovey without nursing. I didn't think it would happen since prior to this the only time you would sit still would be to nurse.
One. I still can't believe it. You're a string bean my bean... 18 lbs. 15 oz. and 29 inches long. I'm pretty sure you've inherited my long torso as you outgrow things in body length prior to filling out pants. An example? You can still fit into plenty of 3-6 month pants.... only as capris as opposed to pants. But that helps with crawling (so you don't scrape up your knees).
You still love to dance. You stand up and wiggle your little butt to almost any beat. You seem to enjoy beer commercial tunes to anything else (much to our displeasure, but we gave up trying to stop you... a dancing bean is far too cute regardless of what you're dancing to!) You stand, you push every moveable piece of furniture around the house you can, you will walk assisted but when there's nothing to hold on to, you drop down and crawl really, really fast. I know walking will come, you've got all the components, just not the actual skill down yet.
Have I mentioned that you enjoy anything that is NOT a toy? Anything. Boxes, kitchen utensils, anything that isn't intended to be for children you're all over. Your current favorite is water bottles. We've given up trying to take them away from you.
Baby girl, I'm so proud of you. Proud to call you my daughter, proud to be your Mama. It's been quite a year and I can't believe you are mine. I still can't believe this isn't just 'a sleep over' and that you're going to go back to your rightful owners. Thank you for making me who I am today. Thank you for changing my life in such a profound way I'm stumbling and bumbling and having difficulties writing this without a box of tissue near by. You are my one, my only Jenna-bean. My baby, despite now being labeled as a toddler. I love you, munchkin.

Love,

Mama

(which you're still not saying, by the way)