And suddenly, you're 4 months old. You've absolutely moved beyond the infant/sleepy/fussy/QUIET phase. In previous letters, I mentioned you being the 'quiet observer'. Peanut, that's no longer the case. You have officially discovered your voice, my dear and you use it often! You sound like a baby dinosaur with your screeches. It's adorable and you can have your Dad and I laughing hysterically within minutes.
You are a happy baby. As long as you're fed, and changed, you're quite content. I had to spend a night in the hospital this month and it absolutely broke my heart. I was away from you for more hours than I care to count. I had to give you formula because I didn't have enough milk stored and I was on medications that prevented me from feeding you. The formula made you smell different. You were a trooper and good for Daddy and Grandma while I was away. You were good to me and allowed me to rest to get better. I am better now, but I hope to never forget the torment of being apart, even if only a short period of time.
You adore your sister. She loves you, too, and I really hope you and she are able to have the relationship that continues like in the photo below for the rest of your lives. If not, I've taken the liberty of having that photo mounted on canvas so I can forever remember your relationship together at this age. You adore her, she can't get enough of you and we have to remind her to be gentle. You've NEVER complained or whined when she talks to you, sticks her fingers in your mouth (or eye, or nose, or grabs your hand, or hugs you firmly).
I love your hair. Your super curly wild and crazy hair. And your lips. Grandma thinks you got them from her, but I really think they're Daddy's lips. I just can't get enough. When you get upset, you jet your lip out and it's SO very sad. We can't help but scoop you up and rescue you as we chuckle at your perfect pouty lip.
You're beautiful, a joy to be around. You make life so much fun.
We had Easter at our house this year, you enjoyed soaking up all the attention in the bunny hat that Aunt Heidi and Uncle Mike got for you :)
We had a tea party/dress up party to watch the Royal Wedding. We had a great time and although I know you won't remember it, hopefully you'll be able to look back on these pictures as your first dress up party.
Clara, I'm at a difficult crossroad... I LOVE seeing you grow up, seeing your personality emerge, your voice babble. I love watching you work on rolling (you can do it, but you have to WANT to do it, and there's lots of talking involved in the process) I love seeing you get your baby fat (finally!) I love interacting with you. At the same time, I morn the sleepy snuggly infant you once were. I pout as I pack up your newborn clothes, and my maternity clothes. I know that you'll never be THIS small again. Ever. So I try to take everything one day at a time. Soak up your infant smell, your infant squeaks & snores. I know one day, before I'm ready, you'll be a toddler but for now, I'm enjoying you as a 4 month old.
I love you, Peanut.