Me as me now, not as a Mom.

I started reading 'Baby-proofing Your Marriage" last night after hearing it recommended many times over on the pregnancy/baby boards.

It's interesting. They said you forget, within a few weeks, who you were before your baby. You become a totally different person, with a new point of view on life. I think this is what lead me to want to have a child. I started to look at my life, I realized that what I was looking forward to was more materialistic than anything else, and that I wanted more.

I remember sitting on the couch, watching TV with Nick (I think the Yanks were playing) and thinking: this weekend, we're going out to dinner, and I'm excited for that. But what else could I be excited for? We've been together for a long time, we're happy, but I want more. I want to be a family. I want to live for our children, not for 'what's on tv tonight' or, for a dinner out. I still will desire those things when we have a child, in fact, I know I'll appreciate it more than before but they won't be providing my primary source of entertainment/excitement. Those are supposed to be 'nice' things, not something you live for.

At this point, I realize I'm babbling... let me get back to my original point. Who am I now? I want to look back at this a year from now and recall how drastically my life has changed. So, who am I, what do I love, what are my hopes and dreams (all excluding pregnancy and baby).

I love to knit. Love it, have for quite some time, but I have to love my project, or I won't pick it up.

I look forward to watching the Yankee/Red Sox series with Nick. It's fun. (mostly, depending on the result, but that's another blog entry). I also enjoy watching a couple of hours of football with Nick, but I can only handle one game, then I need to get up and move!

I love to sit out on our back patio which is situated under this big tree, over looking the rolling hills of my home town with a glass of wine and a good friend. Or, good conversation.

I enjoy the bird singing in previously noted big tree in the morning. Even when it wakes me up on the weekends at 6:30.

I love being able to sleep until 6:30 (or 7, or 8) and not NEEDING to get out of bed for anyone but me.

I enjoy a fantastic dinner, at any of the following restaurants (my fav in the last year or so) Postino (collective awww goes here, this is where we were married), Ruth's Chris, I'd like to go back to Seasons, at the 4Seasons in San Francisco, tonight, we're going to CoCo500 in SF for a very good friend's birthday. I enjoy that place, too. There are so many more restaurants, I realize this was silly to note them. In any case, I love eating out. At a restaurant with unbelievable food, tiny in size, large in flavor. With wine. Or a cocktail, or, both.

I love a good cocktail. Make it pretty (not girly, per-se) and make it not too sweet. Bing Crosby's 'June in January' key-lime martini comes to mind.

I'm a bit of a foodie in general.

I love a good trip to the San Francisco Farmer's Market. Must stops? Rechutti Chocolates for fleur de sel caramels enrobed in dark chocolate, a great hunk of bread from Acme and some cheese from Cow Girl Creamery. Bonus: either oysters and champagne from Hog Island Oyster Co. or a blue cheese BBQ burger (with an onion ring!) from Taylor's. (Note to self: must do this at least once before June!)

I enjoy camping and backpacking, but haven't done it in years.
Same goes for Rock Climbing.
I love the sunshine. I'll do anything to get out in it often.

I love living in the suburbs. I love my car and driving to where I need to go, parking without problems (or paying) and getting back on the road. I'm a nerd in this way.

I love my friends, and will do almost anything for them.
I'm a terrible liar. Really, really bad.

I'm passionate about work. I work for a small company and I love to see it thrive. When the finances are tight, I actually halt my personal spending, too, just because I get in that mode, and it carries over to home. I love business, I love meeting goals and deadlines and I want nothing more than this little company to do as well as possible. At one point, I let myself get carried away with work, which I think encouraged me to look at what I was 'living' for, and we decided to TTC about the same time.

I like quirky things. I've got a miniature dining room chair (cast iron) holding my business cards on my desk and a bouquet of paper flowers from paper source on my desk at all times.

I love a great handbag... if you get a new one, and you let me examine it, I will essentially molest it to see the in's and out's of the bag. If I approve, I'll often ask to see it again at a later date. I love the craftsmanship of a great bag. I don't have all that many, but I love the ones I own.

I enjoy photography. I don't take my camera out as much as I *should* but at social events, I'm almost always lugging it around. I want to work on my "craft" but I feel there is still so much to learn.

I'm an emotional person.
I've been told I'm bossy and 'mothering'. I don't know how Nick deals with it.
I'm an optimist.
I smile a lot.

I think that's a reasonable snapshot of me, thus far. Comment anything else you can think of (be nice!) that I've missed here.

23w,4d