I feel like tomorrow's the first day of school...

I've got my outfit picked out. I've picked out Jenna's outfit. I've packed up her diaper bag. I'm working on my pump bag. OMG, I'm gonna take my pump to work. I've fed her multiple times in my office, that's no big deal. It's as though she keeps my boob covered and I can just look down at her and just watch her. I love watching her nurse. But to pump, at work, that's a whole new story. I barely know how to handle the milk here at home, let alone fiddling with it at work. For whatever reason, I think of it as a bodily fluid (um, because it is, Janessa). I think of it like I thought of the urine samples during my prenatal appointments. I don't really want to touch it, let alone hand it off to someone else. And now... well, now I'll be storing it in my work refrigerator. Awesome. Luckily I work for a health care company, and I know they'll understand, but I can only imagine the comments I'll get this first week back.

Now, I'm going back to work. TOMORROW. I enjoy work. I wish there was a way for me to do it part time as opposed to full time, but either way, I'm going back. The good news? I totally and completely trust our day care provider, Irma. Really. This woman is great. I can tell she already cares for Jenna the way that I want her to. She's coined her little thighs "cinnamon rolls". It's just cute. I know she'll do a great job and be able to provide a loving and appropriately stimulating environment for Jenna. That makes me happy. I'll also get to go and feed her at lunch. This, too makes me happy.

I'm also excited to go back and throw myself at work, focus solely on something other than Jenna for awhile. I think it will make me appreciate her more than right now. It will make me count the minutes together, even if she's screaming.

So, wish me luck! I really hope things go well!
3 months, 9 days.

Photo GTG

So, this past weekend we met up with a bunch of other Moms and kids for a photography get together. Basically, we all grabbed our kids and cameras and met up at a park to take a bunch of pictures. I had a good time and got to finally break out my lensbaby! I've had it since Christmas but never took the time to really play with it. I'm pleasantly surprised with the outcome!

Without further adieu...

Mind you, I didn't post process these at all. I don't often use Photoshop as I'm too lazy to mess with it. So all the blurring is due to the lens! We had a great time!

Happy 3 months, Jenna!

Dear Jenna,

You're 3 Months old today! This month has gone by less quickly than the other months. Maybe it's because we've gotten into a bit of a groove together, you have (sort of) a schedule that you're following and we've learned that you need a TON of sleep to avoid the melt downs. You're getting so much bigger! Here's your 'official' 3 month shot and here's a link to your 2 month picture! My how you've grown!

So, in the past month, quite a bit has happened. You got to give your Daddy a birthday present, kick off football season, attend your first wedding and stay in a hotel for the first time.
You also got your ears pierced! That, was exciting. You were grouchy for about 20 minutes and then fell asleep. After that nap, you had no clue that anything had happened and your ears weren't sore at all (as I could touch and 'mess' with them and it didn't phase you!)

Here you are in the King bed! You certainly made yourself at home in the hotel room. I was happy for the black out curtains come nap time but quickly discovered that there's not much to do in a hotel room with a sleeping baby. We went to Andy and Nora's wedding. It was beautiful. I discovered how hard it is to take pictures while holding you as you were NOT going to let me put you in the bassinet that we brought for you to sleep in. Instead, I wore you in the Moby.

We've been getting lots more 'chatterboxing', smiles (as is demonstrated below) and giggles. Those are my favorite. Your favorite place is still your changing table which continues to baffle us but we won't argue.

You do, however, still have your fussy periods. I will admit the picture below shows a fussy period initiated by me, as Dad was putting your jumper together and I wanted to 'try it out' with you before it was assembled. You were not pleased. Now that it's together (and, in general) you're up for big activities (like the jumper, the play gym, a mommy and me class) for about a half an hour. Then, we have to switch to something less stimulating, like me carrying you around or you sitting on my lap and just observing the comings and goings around us. If we try for more, it's just too much for you and you show us your famous fussy side. You've recently discovered textures and when you feel a new one, you continue to grab for it. But, we're all learning. Oh! And, this month, you rolled over! You've only done it a handful of times and are really surprised when you end up on your back but you're starting to figure it out. It's so cool seeing you trying to learn something new. You've also found your voice. My favorite mornings are when I wake up to you 'talking' to the ladybugs and dragonflies on your crib's bumper. You also like to 'talk' to the heart that hangs on your car seat. I wonder what you're saying to them...

This month, along with Daddy's birthday football season was kicked off! As you know, your parents are 49er fans and Dad couldn't wait to put you in this jersey :). The 9ers are now 2 and 1 as of today (yay! they won today!). In other sports news, tonight was the last game at Yankee Stadium (the 'real' one, not the one you will come to know and love). We watched the ceremony and it was sad.

There's an election for president in a couple of months. Senator Barack Obama and Senator John McCain are running for president. Senator McCain chose a woman as his Vice Presidential candidate, Sara Palin, the Governor for Alaska. I only mention this because whoever comes out on top will be historic in that this country has never had an African American President, nor have we had a female as a VP (or has one ever been in the running for President). I only hope in your lifetime you'll look back at this letter and think we're crazy for only NOW introducing someone other than 'old white guys' into our country's politics. I hope you look back on this like I look back on Martin Luther King, Jr's speeches.

Everyday, we're more and more amazed by you. You've grown quite a bit. You now weight 12lbs 8 oz and are 24 inches long. You're becoming more 'fun' and starting to show your personality. From what we can tell, you are an observer like Dad but when you want something, you, ahem, speak up like me. We love you more and more everyday!

Love,

Mom

Motherhood is a big guessing game.

Almost every decision I make with Jenna is a guess. Did I put her down too early? Is she sleeping too much? Is she getting enough to eat? How do I know? She's been sleeping a lot lately, and I always question EVERYTHING when she's asleep. For example, it's 7:20 pm, she's in her crib. It took ~ 15 minutes to get her down and I put her down drowsy, but awake. Sometimes I allow her to stay up longer, but pay for it in the end with multiple wake ups at night and it takes ~ 45 minutes to get her down because she's so fussy and overtired.

We tried letting her sleep unswaddled as she's discovering her hands and likes to suck on them. But I paid for that last night as I was woken up countless times whereas before I would've only had to get up once or twice. So, tonight, she's swaddled with her paci again. We'll try again in a couple of weeks or when her hand/mouth coordination gets a bit better during the day.

But I question everything. When I feed her I'm wondering if she's really hungry or tired or if she has gas. I miss her when she's sleeping and I'm really dreading going back to work for the simple fact that I'll only get to see her ~ 2.5 hours per day. ~ 1 hour in the morning, half hour at lunch (I'll go over to feed her, should she be hungry) and 1 hour in the evening. That blows. I'm hoping to gain insight from other working Moms as to their schedules because I can't fathom only seeing her for 2.5 hours per day. BUT she needs her sleep and I don't want to deprive her of that. So what's a girl to do?

13 weeks even

New! And out of order!

OK, so this is a little out of order! BUT, as Becki predicted (um, duh!) she's being plastered on my blog. Because it's just how I operate. Becki is a very dear friend that threw Jenna a fantastic shower just before moving to Portland. She was able to come and visit with us for a quick lunch and finally got to meet Edna, oh! Sorry! Jenna ;) (Becki is the one that coined the nn for my fetus as 'edna')

Becki brought Jenna the super cute hair clip you see in this picture. Notice how it's front and center? Yep, that's because I put it in. The first picture has it in a more appropriate place, the side of her head (Thanks Becki, for fixing it!). I love the little owl, so cute!

We went to a wedding this weekend, but I still need to upload the pics from the other camera. I didn't get many pictures, as it's difficult to juggle a camera AND an infant! (um, go figure!)


So, today we went and got Jenna's ears pierced! Here's a shot of the new 'duds' :)

She's almost 3 months! My oh my how time has flown by!