I've got my outfit picked out. I've picked out Jenna's outfit. I've packed up her diaper bag. I'm working on my pump bag. OMG, I'm gonna take my pump to work. I've fed her multiple times in my office, that's no big deal. It's as though she keeps my boob covered and I can just look down at her and just watch her. I love watching her nurse. But to pump, at work, that's a whole new story. I barely know how to handle the milk here at home, let alone fiddling with it at work. For whatever reason, I think of it as a bodily fluid (um, because it is, Janessa). I think of it like I thought of the urine samples during my prenatal appointments. I don't really want to touch it, let alone hand it off to someone else. And now... well, now I'll be storing it in my work refrigerator. Awesome. Luckily I work for a health care company, and I know they'll understand, but I can only imagine the comments I'll get this first week back.
Now, I'm going back to work. TOMORROW. I enjoy work. I wish there was a way for me to do it part time as opposed to full time, but either way, I'm going back. The good news? I totally and completely trust our day care provider, Irma. Really. This woman is great. I can tell she already cares for Jenna the way that I want her to. She's coined her little thighs "cinnamon rolls". It's just cute. I know she'll do a great job and be able to provide a loving and appropriately stimulating environment for Jenna. That makes me happy. I'll also get to go and feed her at lunch. This, too makes me happy.
I'm also excited to go back and throw myself at work, focus solely on something other than Jenna for awhile. I think it will make me appreciate her more than right now. It will make me count the minutes together, even if she's screaming.
So, wish me luck! I really hope things go well!
3 months, 9 days.