Jenna's 1 year montage

This is the short version. I haven't figured out how to upload the 16 minute version one.

Enjoy! *sniff*

12 month letter

Dear Jenna,

Holy cow. We've made it. Well, we've made it to a year, that is. A year that has so changed me I hardly remember who I was before you. I remember thinking, dreaming, wondering who you would be. What you would look like, how your personality would emerge. I thought back on whether I was up to the task of being a Mother, YOUR Mother. Thinking back on that time, I can't believe how naive I was. How I thought I could plan it all out. I thought I was prepared.

Little did I know what I would get. I had no clue I would have a teeny, tiny ball of energy. A baby so full of life she couldn't handle this outside world without screaming often, and LOUDLY. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Because if it were any different, I wouldn't have you. You wouldn't have me.
This year has so changed me. I look back on those early days, and at the time, I kept trying to wish them away. The endless nights I would beg and plead and stare at you and ask you just to let me sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. You never listened. But you made me stronger. I'm so proud of you. You continue to blossom before our very eyes, and I know this is only the beginning. With this next year you'll learn so much, become more than we could have ever imagined. Talking, walking, temper tantruming and loving.... I'm so looking forward to it all (well...... no, just like I don't want to look back on those early difficult days with distain, I don't want to wish away any of this time because it's fleeting.... I now know and understand that more than ever before).
As for this month... you've changed. You've changed in ways I didn't see coming at all. You've learned to 'cheesy' smile. I'm shocked I don't have a picture of it. I told your Dad that I think your smile changed... at first he didn't see it, then I pointed it out. You smile really, really big, show off all your teeth (currently working on 9&10, maybe more, we can't get in there right now!) and your gums and wrinkle your nose. That's by far, my favorite part. If I were to put words to it, the only thing I can come up with is "CHEEEEEESSSEEE!!!" I love it. Melts my heart.
Speaking of melting my heart, you've also learned to hug this month. At the end of the day when I go to pick you up from Irma's, you wrap your right arm around my neck, put your head on my shoulder and give me a big squeeze. It's the best 10 seconds of my day, every day. You also have started hugging others, but that leads me to...
Separation anxiety. You've started to shy away from 'strangers' or those you haven't seen in awhile. Based on your personality, I never thought this day would come. You always would go to willing arms to hold you, which I very much appreciated. That being said, it's nice to know that you favor Mama & Daddy. Especially since we're currently weaning, the special hugs and lovin does show me that you can still be lovey without nursing. I didn't think it would happen since prior to this the only time you would sit still would be to nurse.
One. I still can't believe it. You're a string bean my bean... 18 lbs. 15 oz. and 29 inches long. I'm pretty sure you've inherited my long torso as you outgrow things in body length prior to filling out pants. An example? You can still fit into plenty of 3-6 month pants.... only as capris as opposed to pants. But that helps with crawling (so you don't scrape up your knees).
You still love to dance. You stand up and wiggle your little butt to almost any beat. You seem to enjoy beer commercial tunes to anything else (much to our displeasure, but we gave up trying to stop you... a dancing bean is far too cute regardless of what you're dancing to!) You stand, you push every moveable piece of furniture around the house you can, you will walk assisted but when there's nothing to hold on to, you drop down and crawl really, really fast. I know walking will come, you've got all the components, just not the actual skill down yet.
Have I mentioned that you enjoy anything that is NOT a toy? Anything. Boxes, kitchen utensils, anything that isn't intended to be for children you're all over. Your current favorite is water bottles. We've given up trying to take them away from you.
Baby girl, I'm so proud of you. Proud to call you my daughter, proud to be your Mama. It's been quite a year and I can't believe you are mine. I still can't believe this isn't just 'a sleep over' and that you're going to go back to your rightful owners. Thank you for making me who I am today. Thank you for changing my life in such a profound way I'm stumbling and bumbling and having difficulties writing this without a box of tissue near by. You are my one, my only Jenna-bean. My baby, despite now being labeled as a toddler. I love you, munchkin.

Love,

Mama

(which you're still not saying, by the way)

Weaning and birthday emotions... oh my!

So I've started the process to wean. And although I didn't have a huge issue with giving her WCM (whole cows milk) for whatever reason, reducing feedings, knowing I'm letting my supply drop intentionally is quite weird.

That and Jenna turns one on Sunday. Birthday party on Saturday.

It's been an emotional week. Who knows if it's due to hormones, or the big milestone, or stress from work and trying to prep for this weekend or likely a combo of all of it.

But, I'm excited. Stay tuned for a *way too long* montage of her first year. Seriously, set aside about 20 minutes ;) We'll see if I can do a shorter version, too. The long version took many hours to prep and lots of tears... *sniff!*

Honest Scrap Award

AN AWARD! A MAJOR AWARD! (Sorry, I'm just a big fan of the movie 'A Christmas Story' and had to go there with this...)

Echloe tagged me with the honest scrap award. I love me some awards :)

The Rules for this award are to write 10 Honest Things about myself. So here it is:

1. I'm a type A kinda girl. I'm meticulous and a little obnoxious about it. You can ask those that work for me. That being said, those that do work for me would bend over backward to help. So I guess it's not that annoying.

2. I'm in love with photography blogs. IN LOVE.

3. I need to pick up my camera. While I was putting together the photos for J's montage, I realize I haven't been snapping as many. But, over the course of the year, my photos have gotten better so I don't *need* to snap as many to get a couple good ones... hmmm

4. I've had to re check the rules of this award already. I'm good at going off on tangents.

5. I'm into reading... which if you asked me that when I was teenager I'd say no... I hated reading at that time. But I think it's because I didn't find anything I liked to read back then. Now, I love reading. While I was pregnant and a 'new parent' I was into pregnancy and parenting books. Prior to that, business nerd books (I've got a whole slew of them!), now I'm back into the business nerd books along with the massive blog roll I've accumulated. Fun stuff.

6. I miss Jenna today, while at work. I miss her most days, but today I just want to go home and get a hug from her. Did I mention that yet? She HUGGED me when I picked her up from day care yesterday. TWICE! Then again at home one or two more times. There's nothing sweeter than her little arm wrapped around my neck giving it a squeeze while her head is on my other shoulder. Who knows, maybe she was trying to choke me... I don't care. It was filled with love in my eyes.

7. I'm not the mother I thought I'd be. Or maybe I am. Let me rephrase: Jenna has taught me that I don't get to decide the kind of mother I want to be. Instead, I'm *her* mother, responding to *her* needs. I think it makes it that much sweeter.

8. Back to me. I love a good pedicure. Bonus points if there's wine or champagne involved.

9. I love my husband. He really is the best. I don't remember who's blog (wait, I think it was J*)I was reading and they said I am the sail of a sail boat, and he is my anchor. (she actually said it better than I did... but digging up that post would be far too difficult). But the phrase so accurately describes my DH and I. I'm such a social butterfly, flitting around a group, saying hi, talking to everybody, happy to be out and about. He's the one that reminds me how nice it is to sit at home, snuggled on the couch, just me and him. Among other things, of course. I'm forever grateful and don't know how to thank him enough for just being him.

10. I do my best to live life without regrets. And, anything that *could* be a regret turn it into a lesson for the future. Mistakes are ok, but only if you learn from them.

I'm supposed to award this to other bloggers, too. But if you're reading this, I say you've officially been awarded this one... or, better yet, leave 10 honest things about yourself as a comment on this blog and re-post on your blog... I'd love to read them :)

OK, it used to be cute...

Jenna... you're a doll, you really are. But there's one thing I'd like to have a talk with you about. The word "doggie" has come out of your mouth literally hundreds of times a day.

When a dog barks "doggie!"
when you see a dog "doggie!"
When you see a cat "doggie!"
When you see Vinnie our chinchilla "doggie!"
When you see a bird "doggie!"
When you see me "doggie!"
When you see Daddy "doggie!"
When you say good bye to friends or family "doggie!"
When you're in the bath, when you're in the car, when you're at day care, when you're at home... you get the point.

As much as your single word is cute, honey, let's learn to use it in context. As much as I was sad that you were saying "Dada" and "Daddy" and not "Mama" being called "Dada" is preferred to being called "Doggie." And now that Doggie has replaced all other words... well, I'm at a loss.

Jenna's a couple weeks shy of her 1st birthday.