Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Things I've Learned...

I often do a series of these posts as they come to me. Unfortunately, this one comes to me for negative reasons. I made a big mistake. If you know of it, great, if you don't, here's what I've taken from the situations. I hope to teach Jenna some of these lessons to ensure she doesn't hurt others.

- I've always said to live life with no regrets. Though I don't regret what happened, I regret the way it happened.

-If you know me, at all, you know I say "everything happens for a reason". I really believe that. This is why I don't regret the situation. Though it's hard to imagine right now, something good will come of this, even if it's only to remind me to teach Jenna to be a good person.

- My grandmother used to say "Pretty is as pretty does" Though I hated that phrase as a child, it means so much to me now. One of the things I'd like to instill in Jenna is a positive self image. I have and had so many friends with poor self esteem throughout my lifetime and if there is one thing besides happiness that I want to give to my daughter, it's a positive self image and outlook. The most beautiful people are the kind people, the ones that will bend over backward for others without any expectation for something in return. And, I can tell you, in this world, that's a rarity.

- Beware of your Gemini twin. I'm a Gemini. I have a twin, I know her well. She's my most emotional side. My "knock down, drag out balling and gasping for breath" emotional side. She went on hiatus during my pregnancy and came out as snark most often. She's essentially the devil that sits on my other shoulder. I can most often ignore her, but there are times she speaks. It's not meant as an excuse, it's how I see it. Since Jenna is a Gemini (something I wanted for her) on the Cancer cusp, she has the potential for the emotions getting the best of her and leading her down paths that will hurt people. Which leads me to another 'rule' of mine:

- When you're emotional, or have had an emotional week (last week was a doozy, this week isn't much better), please, please, please wait 24 hours before acting out anything. It's just not worth it.

- When you do something wrong, take responsibility. Own your mistakes. It's the only way to learn from them.

- Watch who you rally with as once you're lumped 'together' doesn't matter what kind of person you are, you'll be associated with the behaviors of others.

- Learn who your true friends are. Sometimes adversity teaches us (very quickly) who is willing to see past your mistakes and who isn't. We all screw up. We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. If your friend kicks you when you're down, they were never your friend at all. If they say "Dude, you went too far" but give you a hug because they know you need it, hold on to them forever as they'll be there for you through good times and bad. If they just say "I still love you" (as two did for me yesterday) Thank them for understanding and still being there for you.

No comments are allowed in this post. Should anyone have anything to say, please email me at the address to the right. And, please keep in mind that I'm having a tough time. If that doesn't matter to you, I'm sorry.