Sunday, June 8, 2008

Getting Nervous

So, this yesterday morning like a loon, I decided to go to Rite Aid to take my blood pressure because of the dramatic increase in swelling this week despite rest and fluid intake.
So, I called L&D and they said if I just called to complain about the swelling, they'd say just to continue what I'm doing, but because I had my BP taken, and it's high, they had me come in. Long story short? I ended up taking it wrong at Rite Aid and my BP is really running about 130/80 which is high for me. I have gestational hypertension but my BP isn't bad enough to have pre-eclampsia...
They did check my cervix because of the patterns they were seeing on the monitors: 1-1.5 cm dilated, 80% effaced So, she said I'm probably in the nesting phase, but I need to take it easy and ignore the nesting instinct (I didn't even mention my crazy cleaning spree the day before!) and, that I'm probably in super duper early labor... So, I rest. Whew!

Now, I'm at the point that it seems so real. SO REAL. Suddenly, I have to preserve my energy for labor. It's that close. I'm kind of freaking out. Kind of. All along, I've been trying visualization to prepare my body and (more so) my mind for labor. "I can do this, giving birth is normal, contractions are like waves, they always come back to shore, at that point, you rest and your baby rests" (there's more, but I won't go into it). In any case, last night I had a painful contraction and as I was breathing through it I realized it's coming and I'm not sure I'm ready.

Can I really be ready? No, I know that. It's just weird to go through the last few weeks really, really uncomfortable and just thinking "When will this be over and when can I meet her?!" to suddenly thinking "Maybe she can stay in there a little longer". When I lay on my side, I can feel the weight of the baby hanging (or resting on the bed) and I can picture her curled up next to me. It's a good image, it's as though she's already here.

I'm excited to be a Mom. I'm even more excited to see Nick as a Dad. But I know the first three months are trying as a new parent and I feel like I'm standing at the door to that life transforming event.

OK, enough in depth thoughts for today. Today is to include resting up, a short visit with friends and more rest.



Echloe said...

You can do it! You will do it! You are ready (from what I can tell from your posts). Take it easy lady. Enjoy the little time you have to yourself.

BTW-I'm so glad your BP is o.k.

Grandma In Waiting said...

Repeat: This is normal. This Is Normal. This Is NORMAL! Imagine yourself as a accordion. Soon you'll be squeezing your way into Motherhood. Now that's a happy tune!