I don't think I'm pregnant

And that's a bummer.

My chart isn't looking good, and I just don't feel like it's going to be this cycle. I feel like if I get it out there, it's going to hurt a little less. We'll see.

Today, I'm calm.

I can't believe how my mood changes. I go 0 to frantic 'un-pregnant' woman in as little as 4 seconds flat. But today, today, I'm calm. If it happens, great, that's our goal. If it doesn't, ok, we've got time. Weird. I think what really has allowed me to calm down, at least for today, is that we got word about a puppy.

Now, let me tell you abou the puppy. My husband and I have been together for nine and a half years. That, my friends, is a long time. It's amazing to write that. I really look back on it as though we met and married yesterday. But that's not what this blog is about. When we first started dating, we would take his parents dog for a walk, every afternoon, for just under 2-ish years. In the beginning walks, we discussed marriage, children and, dogs. We laid out plans for our 'future life'. In fact, we still do that. I'm sure this is normal (at least that's what I tell myself), and I enjoy it. In any case, we discussed our dog breed choices. It's been the same for those 9.5 years: we wanted a great dane. We moved into a (rented) house, and made sure we could have dogs in this house, to allow us a small piece of our 'future life'. We wanted to turn it into our 'present life'.


Well, we got word. After about 6 months of searching, the breeder that we've chosen has sent us an email stating that the dog has come into heat, and they're waiting on her progesterone levels to come up signaling she's ovulating. When my husband told me this... I yelled "THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING!" It's actually pretty funny. I think the dog might have a better shot at getting pregnant before I do. And I'm ok with that. If all goes well, the pups will be born in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and they won't be able to come home with us until 12 weeks. This is late for puppies, but I trust this breeder, and I know that it's the best thing for the puppy. I'm excited to go for walks with the dog, pregnant, and with child. (Obviously, I'm not going to walk the dog and the baby at the same time without my hubster with me).

In any case, calm, quiet, and collected. Life is coming together. We're living our 'future life'. I love my husband so dearly, and it's amazing to see so many things unfold. I know our life is going to change drastically, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure there are many people out there that wouldn't advise us getting a puppy within a year of us having a child, but this works for us. I can't wait, I'm so excited to add the 2 new additions to our family. Ah, THAT word, family, makes my heart flutter.

I'm off to enjoy my calm Sunday. At least while it lasts. :)

My attempt at a blog

This is more like a little journal to myself, and my future baby. Yes, future baby. Currently, my husband and I are trying for a child. No one knows. No one, except, well my little online group of women that are also trying for babies. The nest baby. Thank goodness for the women there.

They fuel my obsession, answer my questions, curse out my period and cheer for baby steps toward pregnancy. It's a fantastic outlet, as I hope this will be. They know the nuances of my cycle, when I'm ovulating, what type of cervical fluid I have (yum) when I'm expecting the cursed Aunt Flo (AF) and when I take a pregnancy test. My husband doesn't have the insight to my cycle they do.

This has been an interesting experience thus far. We had a potential Oops! a few months ago, and we were relieved to finally have AF show up. But, before she showed, we both tried to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for parenthood, in case she didn't show. Then, the baby fever began. We had a few long talks, and we realized this is really great timing for us. We're still young, we've been married for over 2 years, and we're financially in a good place to take this on.

We weren't totally positive during the cycle after the potential oops, but started the cycle after that. Then, my body decided to rebel. Short, short cycle. 21 days! Yikes! So, now we're on cycle #2. It's really, really hard not to become obsessed. Normally, when I want something, I want it NOW, and, for the most part, I can achieve it now. This, no. This is not so easy. It's actually not easy to become pregnant. Who knew? Cycle #2, I'm in for a long road ahead. Average couples take about 6 months to become pregnant. Huh. I'm on #2. Keep those fingers crossed that we're the 'lucky' ones that become pregnant sooner!