Thursday, July 30, 2009

Looking forward, looking back.

Thinking about the profound changes that have happened in my life from 2007 until now makes my head spin. There are days I go to write the date and I have to hesitate before actually writing 2009. And it's July. Almost August. Nick and I's 4 year anniversary is coming up next month. To think of how much we've grown as individuals and as a couple since we got married or in the 11 years we've been together is mind boggling. We have the most beautiful, adorable daughter, one that is such a great combination of the two of us we really don't see each other in her face. I've never appreciated Nick more, and I likely don't tell him that enough. Having Jenna has so rocked our world in ways I can never explain. There just aren't enough words.

Jenna is amazing. She's either squealing with delight or crying out of frustration. There isn't much in between. She's a ball full of energy and rarely slows down enough to give us a hug or let us hold her. But I think that makes me that much more appreciative of the times I do get a hug, or when she goes to give me a kiss (which still resembles CPR). I love laying on the floor with her at the end of my work day and having her crawl all over me. Stand on me, sit on me, plop on my belly, try to bite my toes... I don't really like it when she sits on my head and tries to jump up and down, but at the same time, if it makes her happy, I can get a good laugh out of it. I love time right now, I'd love to stop it.

Then again, I see family portraits of little girls, 3 or 4 years old (sometimes older) and I swoon. I'm looking forward to seeing Jenna as a little girl. Knowing her personality now, she's going to be so much fun. I know she's strong willed, she's intense with her feelings, emotions, desires and I can't wait to see that in an older form. I'm looking forward to baking cookies with her, running through a grassy field, trying to catch crawdads at the local park... there's so much.

Motherhood is great right now. We're getting a bit more sleep (um, but the second I say anything it all goes to the pot so I won't say too much more about that), she's interacting, walking, 'talking' and becoming her own little person. It's amazing to watch, I can't wait to see more.

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