Motherhood is a big guessing game.

Almost every decision I make with Jenna is a guess. Did I put her down too early? Is she sleeping too much? Is she getting enough to eat? How do I know? She's been sleeping a lot lately, and I always question EVERYTHING when she's asleep. For example, it's 7:20 pm, she's in her crib. It took ~ 15 minutes to get her down and I put her down drowsy, but awake. Sometimes I allow her to stay up longer, but pay for it in the end with multiple wake ups at night and it takes ~ 45 minutes to get her down because she's so fussy and overtired.

We tried letting her sleep unswaddled as she's discovering her hands and likes to suck on them. But I paid for that last night as I was woken up countless times whereas before I would've only had to get up once or twice. So, tonight, she's swaddled with her paci again. We'll try again in a couple of weeks or when her hand/mouth coordination gets a bit better during the day.

But I question everything. When I feed her I'm wondering if she's really hungry or tired or if she has gas. I miss her when she's sleeping and I'm really dreading going back to work for the simple fact that I'll only get to see her ~ 2.5 hours per day. ~ 1 hour in the morning, half hour at lunch (I'll go over to feed her, should she be hungry) and 1 hour in the evening. That blows. I'm hoping to gain insight from other working Moms as to their schedules because I can't fathom only seeing her for 2.5 hours per day. BUT she needs her sleep and I don't want to deprive her of that. So what's a girl to do?

13 weeks even