4 Month letter

Dear Jenna,

You're now officially 4 months old. This month has been an exciting one, filled with many new adventures. I went back to work when you were 3 months and 10 days old. Before I did, we crammed as many 'mommy and me' stuff in as possible. I've included some pictures below. (The pictures are way out of order, by the way, I still can't quite figure that out). 

In any case, you're getting bigger (duh), growing older (um, duh again!) and now when I look back at your newborn pictures, I just can't believe you're the same child. You continue to show us more and more of your personality and your smile. Smiles come easily and you've been crying less and less often, provided we don't let you get overtired. 

This month, as I noted earlier, you started day care. You're with Irma, and she's fantastic. I can tell she really loves you, and you've been happier since starting up there. You like the sights and sounds to be ever changing and day care is perfect for that. The kids all adore you and you can just sit back and watch (and comment!) on the happenings. I do go to feed you at lunch time (every day!) and that break in my day makes the time go by faster until I get to see you again. It's made me appreciate every minute I spend with you because it's all fleeting. I know you'll never be this small again and though I'm sad that you spend so much time with Irma, I understand that's what we have to do at this point in time. AND, since you've allowed me to make peace with that decision as you're really, genuinely happy when I pick you up. 

Here you are with Landon, your partner in crime at Day One's Musical Play class... 
You've become much more vocal this month. You 'comment' on the changing scenery, let us know if you're displeased with what you're looking at and have found your 'shreek'. You also will head butt me after a good feeding or when you're tired. You tend to 'talk yourself to sleep' when you're really tired. Smiles are gummy in nature and come frequently. You love music. LOVE it. Currently, guaranteed hits include the 'ABC's', the 'spiderman' Jenna Bean song, Tony Chestnut and You are my Sunshine. Though, you will settle for some DMB (which also makes your Dad and I smile), you much prefer Baby Einstein's classical. 

Current events. The election coverage continues, and, of course it's the biggest topic out there right now. By the time the next letter is published, we'll know who the next president is. Other news includes how terrible the economy is right now. The stock market continues to tank and to be honest, that's enough negative news to get me to turn the TV off. Because of returning to work, my head is basically all consumed with you, preparing your stuff for the next day at day care and trying to wake up in time for work. It's a super glamorous life, I tell ya. 

You really are starting to show your personality. You size people up immediately. Some people you are all giggles and smiles for, others, you let them see (and hear!) your cries. In all honesty, I'm anxious to see how you do for Mr. Santa in a couple of months. 

As I noted above, it's been a busy month. One highlight was going to the pumpkin patch. We went to Clayton Valley Pumpkin Farm (friends of the family own it) and we had a great time. You were a bit overtired and cranky due to the change in schedule with Grandma and Pop in town, but we still had a blast. I was excited to see one of the first 'holiday traditions' I'd always dreamed of come to fruition. After a few family photos and picking out the perfect pumpkin for you (it's little!) we went to a local pub (Ed's Mudville Grill) and had lunch. Though we didn't get a picture of it, all the grandparents were there and we met Uncle Mike and Aunt Heidi for lunch. 

You continue to amaze us. We're so enamored by you, by your personality, your eyes, your hands, your new fascination with your feet (hey! Where'd those come from!) and of course your big huge smiles and giggles. 

Next month we're going to visit Nana and Tot along with the other extended family out in New Jersey. There's also talk of solids, but we shall see if you're willing to wait or not. 

Love,

Mom

More Pictures

These are in no particular order... 

Jenna and Landon at Musical Play class, watching the instructor, despite their Mom's looking like total nut cases to try to get their attention... 

One of my favorite outfits on Jenna.. and this is the look I get when I use my tiny point and shoot because it flashes a red light in her face to get rid of red eye... 
Jenna while visiting with Mr. & Mrs. Hall at Kevin's house
What Landon thinks of me, apparently... 
Mom loves tummy time pictures! At a group at Day One
Every kid needs a mohawk bath time picture... 
round 2 of mohawk... 
Jenna, wine tasting with Mom and Nanny. We're starting her off right! Have a seat on the bar, kid. 
Looking right at home... 
"May I please sample the Pinot? I hear it's great!"
Again, fav outfit! 
Landon hangin on the big mac pumpkin... 
More tummy time! 
yeah, I can't get enough
so cute! 

Oakland Zoo

OK, so we went to the Oakland Zoo with a couple friends right before I went back to work. Here are some pictures, out of order ;)

Jenna did really well, except when the camera was turned on us... here we are.. 

and again... see how excited she is about the Zebras?!?! (once the camera was aimed at others, she was calm again...)
Here's Caden checking out the Monkeys :)
the zoo! 
aw, happy girl
Caden's checking out the giraffes
Laura and Oona
Camel and Oona

Videos! Jenna grunting

OK, so a couple of weeks ago, Jenna was 'backed up' as most babies will get every now and then. And, as the 'mean parents' we are (and have always promised to be!) we decided to video tape the poor girls comical grunting while she was in the moby. Hey, at least we tried to make her comfortable, before this she was crying! 

She's looking at Nick, with the camera like "Dad, why would you document this?".  For the record, the grunting was all for nothing... the poop came the next day :) Enjoy! 

3 days down!

So, I went back to work. It actually went a whole lot better than I thought it would!

The first day I took her to Irma's (day care) and as I was dropping her off, Sally and Landon were there, as was another Mom dropping off another one of the kids. I was a little overwhelmed, but that was probably a good thing and I didn't realize what happened until I got in the car to drive away. As I drove away, I started crying. Really, crying. I had just dropped my baby off with a stranger. Now, that sounds rather dramatic, but at that moment. I felt terrible. I was leaving my baby.

I cried the whole way to work. Once there, the only one in the office was Bernie. She has kids that are essentially my age. She asked me how I was doing and I started welling up again. She got chills and recounted dropping off her oldest at day care nearly 25 years ago. We had a short little cry together and I was able to get it together enough to start on my massive workload (gee, only 4 months of work waiting for me). As long as I kept myself busy, I was doing fine. I got to go feed her at lunch, which breaks the day up and allows me to reconnect.

After that first day, I've done really well. It feels good to get back to work. It's nice to know that she's being well cared for, as Irma is really fantastic and I'm able to get some "Janessa" time. It felt good to put on my 'career wear'. I'm proud at the end of the day to hear she had a good day, was full of smiles and enjoyed being among the other kids. It makes me appreciate the time after work that I get to see her, spend time with her. Seriously, it's the best time of the day, I look forward to it and it's SO fulfilling.

It's only been 3 days, but I know this is perfect for me, for us, for the family. However, that being said, I'm exhausted at the end of the day. My bedtime has been ~ 9:30 since going back to work and it keeps creeping up earlier and earlier. I'm trying to get everything together the night before so in the morning I can kind of breeze through and head out the door. It's worked thus far.

Though I'm still super tired, I look forward to the evening feedings as she's so beautiful just after a feeding, with a slight smile while sleeping in my arms. I want to take a picture, but that would really ruin it. Her face is half illuminated by the night light, her hand resting on my upper chest, her body snuggled against mine. It's amazing. That is the one thing I don't want to forget about this age. As tired as I am, I'm not ready to give up the night time feedings.

My work is much more scheduled. I have to plan my tasks around pumping at 9 and 2:30 and around my lunch with Jenna. I like it, I think I'll actually be more productive as I'll plan a task between the pumping and lunches. Starting next week, I've changed my schedule to allow me to get off work at 3:30. Nick's going to take her to day care (which I think will be good because he'll be able to interact with Irma, too) and I'll go straight to work, only a 1/2 hour for lunch, which I'll go to feed her and then off at 3:30. This will allow me to see her more than an hour and a half in the evenings.

I'm so pleased it's gone as well as it has. I have warm fuzzies. I'm right where I need to be.