Acceptance

Two days ago I was nervous. Yesterday, after a half of a day of 'false labor', I was ready, anxious and excited. Today? I need to accept that I'm still about 2 weeks away from my due date and a majority of first time moms deliver AFTER their estimated delivery date.

But, that doesn't mean that I'm happy about each new level of discomfort that I have everyday when I wake up. I've realized I have a moving bowling ball in my abdomen. And it hurts.

37w,2d

Getting Nervous

So, this yesterday morning like a loon, I decided to go to Rite Aid to take my blood pressure because of the dramatic increase in swelling this week despite rest and fluid intake.
155/79
So, I called L&D and they said if I just called to complain about the swelling, they'd say just to continue what I'm doing, but because I had my BP taken, and it's high, they had me come in. Long story short? I ended up taking it wrong at Rite Aid and my BP is really running about 130/80 which is high for me. I have gestational hypertension but my BP isn't bad enough to have pre-eclampsia...
They did check my cervix because of the patterns they were seeing on the monitors: 1-1.5 cm dilated, 80% effaced So, she said I'm probably in the nesting phase, but I need to take it easy and ignore the nesting instinct (I didn't even mention my crazy cleaning spree the day before!) and, that I'm probably in super duper early labor... So, I rest. Whew!

Now, I'm at the point that it seems so real. SO REAL. Suddenly, I have to preserve my energy for labor. It's that close. I'm kind of freaking out. Kind of. All along, I've been trying visualization to prepare my body and (more so) my mind for labor. "I can do this, giving birth is normal, contractions are like waves, they always come back to shore, at that point, you rest and your baby rests" (there's more, but I won't go into it). In any case, last night I had a painful contraction and as I was breathing through it I realized it's coming and I'm not sure I'm ready.

Can I really be ready? No, I know that. It's just weird to go through the last few weeks really, really uncomfortable and just thinking "When will this be over and when can I meet her?!" to suddenly thinking "Maybe she can stay in there a little longer". When I lay on my side, I can feel the weight of the baby hanging (or resting on the bed) and I can picture her curled up next to me. It's a good image, it's as though she's already here.

I'm excited to be a Mom. I'm even more excited to see Nick as a Dad. But I know the first three months are trying as a new parent and I feel like I'm standing at the door to that life transforming event.

OK, enough in depth thoughts for today. Today is to include resting up, a short visit with friends and more rest.

37w,6d

Tagged!

So I've been tagged by Echloe who is someone I ran into on the internet and quickly discovered lives within a short drive of me. Though we have yet to meet face to face, I feel as though I know her based on our correspondence back and forth. I also know she's a knitter, but haven't seen any visual proof of said knitting ;)

So for this game of tag I have to write a six word memoir... a Meme. To quote Echloe's blog "The Meme originated over an idea that was prompted by the book written by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, Not Quite What I was planning: Six Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure. It's a compilation based on the story that Hemingway once bet $10 that he could sum up his life in six words. His were- For Sale: baby shoes, never worn."

So, hmm...Here goes nothin!

Happy goes along with lucky sometimes.

My explanation will be a long string of rambling sentences. Then again, if you read this blog often enough, that shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. I'm known by many as "the optimistic one". I have friends that will proceed with caution when bringing me bad news as I will most often tell them "Everything happens for a reason". At times, it's difficult to hear, but it's really a philosophy I try to live by. That, and live life with no regrets, but that's an entirely different blog entry. In any case, I'm a relatively happy optimist. I also consider myself to be somewhat lucky, in a number of situations with my life. I've lived a relatively trouble-free life, and I feel blessed to have all I do at this point in my life. I've never felt 'deprived' or 'starved' or anything less than fulfilled, and I know that's a lucky situation, as not everyone has had the same experiences. All of that, and I wanted to do a play on the phrase 'happy go lucky'.

Now, I've been instructed to tag others... Here are my 5 :)

I hate green peas!

Kelly Marie

And Baby Makes Three! 

ZanyMama

Suburban Couture

Nick's Work threw him a Baby Shower!

AND, while snagging a few pics from the shower, I raided his iPhone for some pics he took awhile back! 

Look how entertained the guys in the background are watching Nick open his gifts ;)

Nick's never had a shower "just for him". We had a couples shower back when we were getting married, but this whole "all eyes on Nick" thing is not something he's used to. However, he said he was really surprised and had a great time. The office was overly generous! 

Such a pretty hand crocheted blanket! 

I call the above picture (from a ways back!) "Preggo Pizza" :) I'm waiting for our TJ's pizza to brown 'just enough'! 
This is Nick and I a couple weekends ago at a wedding. We were supposed to go to 2 back to back weekends, but sadly, due to the preterm contractions we had to skip the first wedding :(

Still here, still pregnant. Lots of swelling (puffy feet picture coming up soon!) 

37w, 3d

Ready? Maybe not!

OK, so the last few days have been surreal. I'm full term. Wow, that pregnancy sure did fly by! 

Here are my reasons I'm not ready to have her yet: 

- Nick and I's 10 year dating anniversary is on Thursday. We have a date night planned for 

Friday (6/6) and I'm getting my hair cut that day (I figure it will be many, many months before I get back to the hair dresser) along with a manicure and pedicure. I'm due for the pedi and I was very generously given a gift certificate for both! Yay!

- Thursday, 6/12 we have tickets to see the Yankees play the A's. Since the Yanks rarely come to town, we wanted to make sure to grab some good seats! I'm super excited to go! 

- Friday, 6/13 is my birthday. I really don't want her to share my birthday, just because I want her to have her own day. 

- 6/17 is Nick's Mom's birthday. Ideally, not that day, either, for the very same reasons listed above. 

Though, strangely, I'm fine with her coming on Father's Day. I think that'd be a great Father's day gift for Nick AND both Grandpa's :)

Here's why I want her here sooner rather than later:

- Um, I'm uncomfortable. My hands and feet swell up like balloons and my right arm is getting some neurological symptoms (shooting pains, achy pains). That and, this peeing is really getting ridiculous! 

- We're ready. Really. Everything is in it's place, ready to go. We just need a baby. 

- If I *did* have her before my birthday, I could enjoy a glass of champagne on my birthday! Wahoo! 

-Did I mention I'm uncomfortable? When sitting, it really feels as though I have a basket ball in my lap. I can't cross my legs, lay down comfortably, sit up comfortably or walk comfortably. My favorite position? On all 4's on pillows in the living room. There's a visual for ya! 

So, we shall see how much longer this pregnancy lasts.... (ha! Watch me deliver in July! ugh!!) 

37w, 1d